Changes
I'm unquestionably aversed to change. I thrive on routine and even miniscule changes can throw me off. I hate it. I try really hard to roll with the punches, and sometimes I do, but most of the time, I struggle with this.
Take yesterday, for instance. We had a contractor scheduled to come over to give us an estimate on our screened-in porch and he turned out to be a complete dud. Incredibly late for our appointment, curt, rude, and unhelpful. I almost kicked him off our property but he left within five minutes of coming over anyway. Good riddance, of course. But we were really excited about thinking through options for our porch, and plus, it threw our whole schedule off. On top of that, Joe had to mow our overgrowing lawn while I took care of dinner and put the kids to bed. Arjoon was in a mood, throwing tantrum after tantrum (mostly because he was overtired). I was terrified to leave Ana in the Rock N Play even though she was restrained with the seatbelt, given all of the recent hoopla about the safety recall. Ana was also spitting up all day, causing me internal stress that she wouldn't gain enough weight because of potential dairy exposure. All was fine, just incredibly hectic, and afterwards, I was so beat and down about how this stupid contractor ruined our evening. Silly, right? Initially, I thought a glass of wine sounded just perfect, but I was too tired for even that.
I've got to get it together.
Maybe this is something I should aim to work on--not letting small aberrations mess with my overall happiness and well-being. I should be, and am, incredibly grateful for my life. Joe took THREE WEEKS off to care for me and the baby, and help me transition to life as a mother of two after Ana was born. Both of our families have come and helped tremendously with the transition. We have enough money and security for me to take 12 weeks of full maternity leave, and won't need to go back full-time until 18 weeks postpartum. We practically have free healthcare.
I wonder how I can adjust to these small aberrations a little more seamlessly? I feel like these changes have been more difficult to get used to as I've gotten older--possibly because I've settled into more of a routine now. But it's even more necessary to be able to "roll with the punches" nowadays, with unpredictable situations constantly occurring with the kids. Heaven forbid something happens to one or more of our parents. I feel sick just thinking about it.
When I was young, I struggled with a lot of anxiety. I dealt with it through meditation and breathing exercises. I think I would benefit from that now, too, but I feel like I have less time. I also feel like I would benefit from being part of a cohesive community of people that meets regularly--like a Hindu temple. I can't seem to find any organization that I can relate to, though...
Sometimes I wonder how my parents did it. Or their parents. Or anyone, really. Am I the only one that struggles with this?
Take yesterday, for instance. We had a contractor scheduled to come over to give us an estimate on our screened-in porch and he turned out to be a complete dud. Incredibly late for our appointment, curt, rude, and unhelpful. I almost kicked him off our property but he left within five minutes of coming over anyway. Good riddance, of course. But we were really excited about thinking through options for our porch, and plus, it threw our whole schedule off. On top of that, Joe had to mow our overgrowing lawn while I took care of dinner and put the kids to bed. Arjoon was in a mood, throwing tantrum after tantrum (mostly because he was overtired). I was terrified to leave Ana in the Rock N Play even though she was restrained with the seatbelt, given all of the recent hoopla about the safety recall. Ana was also spitting up all day, causing me internal stress that she wouldn't gain enough weight because of potential dairy exposure. All was fine, just incredibly hectic, and afterwards, I was so beat and down about how this stupid contractor ruined our evening. Silly, right? Initially, I thought a glass of wine sounded just perfect, but I was too tired for even that.
I've got to get it together.
Maybe this is something I should aim to work on--not letting small aberrations mess with my overall happiness and well-being. I should be, and am, incredibly grateful for my life. Joe took THREE WEEKS off to care for me and the baby, and help me transition to life as a mother of two after Ana was born. Both of our families have come and helped tremendously with the transition. We have enough money and security for me to take 12 weeks of full maternity leave, and won't need to go back full-time until 18 weeks postpartum. We practically have free healthcare.
I wonder how I can adjust to these small aberrations a little more seamlessly? I feel like these changes have been more difficult to get used to as I've gotten older--possibly because I've settled into more of a routine now. But it's even more necessary to be able to "roll with the punches" nowadays, with unpredictable situations constantly occurring with the kids. Heaven forbid something happens to one or more of our parents. I feel sick just thinking about it.
When I was young, I struggled with a lot of anxiety. I dealt with it through meditation and breathing exercises. I think I would benefit from that now, too, but I feel like I have less time. I also feel like I would benefit from being part of a cohesive community of people that meets regularly--like a Hindu temple. I can't seem to find any organization that I can relate to, though...
Sometimes I wonder how my parents did it. Or their parents. Or anyone, really. Am I the only one that struggles with this?
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